I have not watched your movie. Not because I don't think it looks funny or somewhat enjoyable-- I actually do like watching "dick flicks." In fact, I almost went to see the movie with a friend who wanted to watch it, and I did make a mental note to rent it when it comes out on DVD. But I have recently changed my mind, because I hear that your movie contains a particularly racist Asian character.
Now, I'm actually not one of those uptight progressives who will raise hell over every little racist thing I see or read in popular media. If I were, I'd have to pop blood pressure pills most of my waking moments. I've come to expect that the white folks in Hollywood will take advantage of stereotypes, either because they are racist or because they just don't know any better. I live in a country in which only 4% of the population looks like me, so I'm used to dealing with people's stupid questions and assumptions about me and "my people."
But for the love of L. Ron Hubbard, could you at least be original in your offensiveness? A fobby Asian nerd with a thick accent who exhibits weird sexual behavior? A fucking gong to signal his entrance in every scene? You've got to be kidding me. Didn't Long Duk Dong from freaking 25 years ago already cover that territory?
I'm not even going to go so far as to ask that you stop being racist. But could you do your bored audience a favor and come up with new and innovative ways of being racist? Please?? I realize you have to incentive to do this, given that you're making gobs of money with or without audiences like me. So take it as a charity case. And doing charity makes you feel good! Besides, writing better movies certainly must be easier than adopting kids from Cambodia.
A good friend of mine has a theory that boys break up with me because they think that I don't like them. Because that's basically what's going on when a guy doesn't think he can meet my expectations or make me happy-- He's unsure of my esteem of him.
I have to categorically disagree with that assessment. After all, one thing that has been true of each boyfriend who has broken up with me is this: It was always when I started liking him and making my feelings known that he started growing distant and backing off. I'm no fucking Jane Bennett here (in spite of having just written about my "esteem" of a man)-- I think I make it pretty clear when I like a guy. I get him little presents that I think might delight him. I suggest fun things for us to do together. I pay attention to his likes and dislikes. I wear sexy lingerie when I really would prefer to wear my high school gym shorts to bed. I introduce him to my friends and family. I say the words, "I like you." I make sure I do all this without seeming possessive, suffocating, or clingy. So if anything, these boys are breaking up with me because they know that I like them. I make it too easy. Or maybe they just don't like me.
Of course, that theory sucks, too. I mean, not to sound arrogant here, but what's not to like? But fine, if that's how it's going to work, then from now on I'm going to take my dad's advice and withhold. I'll make it difficult for him. I'll be a frigid bitch. Because if I've learned anything from trying to keep a guy around is this: S/he who cares the least holds the most power. It's totally fucked up, and it explains much of why love is a goddamned stupid thing, but it's true.
Okay, I'm done with my cynical and bitter rant. Now back to dreaming and scheming!
I confess that I have been far more preoccupied with the life and death of Michael Jackson than I have been on the Iranian protests, the withdrawal of US troops in Iraq, the death of Robert McNamera, and the military coup in Honduras. I've seen and read plenty of bloggers/commentators/pundit-wannabes complaining about the media attention on Jackson when so many more "important" things are going on in the world.
To these complaints, I have this to say: Get over your self-righteous selves.
The "media" has always concentrated its attention on stupid crap. What makes this any different? Right before MJ died, tv and magazines were all about fucking Jon and Kate. And I'm sorry, but the death of Michael Jackson isn't stupid crap at all. It's kind of a big fucking deal! The man had a career that spanned 40 years. Name one other person in recent history who has made as big of a world-wide impact on popular culture, who has grabbed the attention of as many people from different generations, who's been around this long. I'm not in the business of determining how much attention any one person or event "deserves," and who is, really? Besides, after the obsession of this dies down, we'll be all over the next sex scandal, celebrity marriage/rehab stint/freak show anyway. Chill the fuck out.
A friend of mine who always has an infectiously positive outlook on life called me yesterday to catch up on things. Before he had to go, he told me, "You need to laugh more!"
So true! As my brother, who's also perpetually optimistic, tells me, "No more emo crap!" Besides, I'm a fucking funny person when I'm in the mood. And I have a pretty great laugh, too, so why not use it more? I know it's really weird (and perhaps uber depressing) to have to schedule in laughter. I guess it's just a symptom of dissertation writing through the summer-- A lot of my friends are out of town, and writing is generally an isolating task anyway. (Plus, it doesn't help that I research stuff on war and trauma and colonialism and crap.) So yes, I must actively find ways to amuse myself. Not so difficult. FuckYouPenguin still makes me laugh, even though recent entries haven't been as funny as earlier ones.
Is it wrong, though, that the first thing that really made me laugh today was the sight of 10-year-old Asian kids getting tutored at the public library? Now, I'm not one to beat up on nerds, being a super one myself. But you'd think that, eventually, Asian parents would get tired of shit like this. (Note: That's the dude from Heroes on the left.) Cultivate a more multi-faceted persona, for chrissakes. Plus, what kind of absurd conditioning is required to make a kid so damn diligent with something that's clearly so misery-inducing? And it's almost as if the library's sound-proof study cubbies are designed specifically for this torture. I always want to walk by and make funny faces or perform puppet shows at the windows and run away before the tutors notice.
Okay, so maybe I'm more evil and/or pissy than funny.
And I really shouldn't laugh at these kids or their parents. I once made a good deal of easy money tutoring kids in the SATs and similar bullshit. This may have to be my backup career, should I fail to nail a tenure track position this year. As my infectiously positive friend says, a cute Chinese girl with a PhD can make a whole lot of money catering to uptight Asian parents, even if she is a subversive at heart.
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